Absolute Passion

Last month I pre-ordered my first book ever.  I was super excited when I hit the purchase button, and then sad when I realized it would not come to me for a while!  So what book caused me to break my mold and pre-order??  It's a book by Sean Aiken called "One Week Job Project" where Sean describes his journey doing 52 jobs in 52 weeks.  Now, if your expecting a book review right now, it's not going to happen right now (maybe later), but seriously, once you pick up this book you will not be able to put it down!  I know it sounds cliche, but my wife was literally yelling at me, "your reading again???"  I wouldn't stop, until it was finished.

I'm not going to talk about the book specifically but just one of its over-arching themes.  Passion.  I've talked about it in a previous post before called "Get Some Passion" that featured a video by Gary Vaynerchuck, and passion is something that is always on the curb of my mind.  Why do we go to work everyday?  Are you really happy with what you are doing?  If the answer is not, "I'm passionate about the work that I do," then stop doing it!  Sean talks a lot in his book and on his One-Week Job website about being passionate about what you do.

While I was reading this book over the past couple of days, it struck me...it's time to get off my ass!  Yep, I think I threw some expletives in there, but you get the point.  Over the past few months, I have been waiting around to start my mediation career.  I have been more scared then waiting, if I was to be truthful.  But then I started thinking, what am I worried about?  I have always been the type of person that when I am passionate about something I throw myself into it head first!  Now, don't get me wrong, I have held this passion for mediation for a while now, and I can't seem to get rid of it!  So I am going for it!

I'm currently getting my website up, and realizing how difficult it is to put my passion into words, so it's currently under construction (but what website isn't!) but if you got some time, check out my website Absolution Mediation, it takes a bit to load it right now, but I'm working on it!

Cheers

I should have said....

So here I am, in the little tri-city area, which I thought was pretty big, but in mediation terms is quite small.  I have had many conversations with mediators in the past 6 months, and read many different forums/conversations on Linkedin  and have been told how difficult it is to sustain a career in mediation.  I have been well informed that those who teach mediation classes are not fully telling their students how difficult it is to make a living and that there are few who are able to make a killing off of it but the rest struggle.  Not surprisingly, this doesn't really phase me.  I feel well informed at the risks, I feel well informed that it will be a difficult path, I feel well informed that I'm going to have to work my ass off to get anywhere in this world of mediation.  But guess what...it would be the same with any business that I decide to go for!

One thing that I have come to realize is the lack of awareness that there is about mediation in the area I reside.  There is a lack of awareness of the benefits of the mediation process, the financial benefits of mediation, and a general lack of knowledge of restorative justice/mending relationships.  So what do I do?  I have read everything out there...there are some amazing people that take a lot of time out of their days to help others...Tammy Lenski, Diane Levin , Amanda Bucklow, Jeff Thompson, Cinnie Noble (Just to name a few) who have helped me really sit down and think about the ins and outs of mediation and what it means to be a not just a good mediator, but a great mediator.  I can honestly say I owe them a quite a bit for the wisdom that comes through their fingers and voices

Anyways, all this to say...I have a ton of work to do in my area!  I'm going to have to get out and talk to groups, write articles, shout mediation from the rooftops to get anywhere in this field...it is extremely overwhelming and extremely exciting and I look forward to the challenges ahead!  Stay tuned for more!

mediation awareness

The Holidays

Having worked in the social service field for a little while now I am always reminded of the pain and suffering that people are going through during this joyous time.  It's the Christmas season (even though it's technically over now...) and the start of a new year.  It's a time to celebrate the birth of Christ and get together with family members and friends that we haven't seen for a while.  However, not everyone has family and friends to greet and embrace, not everyone has a relationship with their families, and others yet have high conflict families that cause great pain and suffering throughout the holiday.  

I was reading in the paper this week about exchange students (particularly college students) that have nowhere to go during the Christmas season, their families are all oversees, their friends are busy with their families, their customs and traditions aren't even possible here for whatever reason.  However, that's not what the article was about...the article was about people (friends, professors, etc) taking these people and bringing them home to their families to enjoy the festivities with their families!  I thought this was pretty awesome for people to be doing.  While the exchange student may not be able to celebrate the holidays with their usual customs and traditions, they were all very grateful that they did not have to spend the holidays on their own.  To me, this reminds me that there are still gracious people left out there.  That joyous holidays don't have to be lonely for many people.  

So even though Christmas is done, and you already have New Years plans, if you know of someone who is going to be lonely during the remainder of the season, invite them to your house, celebrate with them, enjoy their company.  Too often we get stuck in our own lives to remember about those that are around us...especially during the holidays.  

Thank you to everyone that has made this a great year!  May God bless you in the year to come!

A New Year...A New Job...A New Life?

Well, well, well...there has been a lot going on!  So as of this week I will no longer be employed by Christian Horizons...I know...I've been here for roughly 3 1/2 years...quite some time...but it will no longer (come 2010) be my main source of employment.  It brings on many different emotions, to be honest.  I'm extremely excited that I'm continuing on with my life, and branching out into something that I am very passionate about, but also quite sad.  I've worked in 5 different homes within Christian Horizons, giving me quite a well rounded experience of what Christian Horizons has to offer, and I must admit I have throughly enjoyed my stay.  The most previous house that I am leaving (in Guelph) has by far had the best team/boss that I've had the pleasure of working with. It is very sad to be leaving this team because they have been amazing in this home, and I am astounded at the amount of talent that we have been able to acquire in this home.  Christian Horizons has been blessed by this team and I know that they will all go on to do amazing things with their lives, in or outside of Christian Horizons.

However, I have accepted a position of Program/Volunteer Manager at a grassroots organization named ROOF (Reaching Our Outdoor Friends).  There I will be helping manage a team of talented people (paid and unpaid) who are reaching out to homeless youth in Kitchener.  Not only does it give me great privilege to be offered the job it is where part of my passion is.  I say part because I have three main passions (in this order): Serving others, mediation, and youth.  I don't know incredible details yet of the staff/volunteers yet, but I'm looking forward to the challenge and putting my knowledge and skills to good use.  I am extremely thankful to my (now former) boss because I feel equipped and ready for this challenge.  It's always encouraging to know that people are there growing new leaders and developing their talents and gifts.  I can only hope that I do half as good of a job as he's done.

So what does this mean for my mediation business Absolution Mediation?  Nothing changes!  Things are still going ahead as planned, and I hope to start advertising soon.  I have some internships that I need to nail down  yet...three more courses...and BAMN!  Ready to role!  One of the things that I am going to be incorporating into my business is conflict/relationship coaching.  I'm very excited about this, and have been doing tons, and tons of reading about it.  The more I learn about mediation and coaching the more I've been realizing that I've been doing this my whole life!  Another exciting thing about my new position is the active role that I will be taking in coaching staff.  I'm very excited to be able to have this opportunity and extremely nervous as well.  Wish me luck!!

Why not?

This summer an amazing friend of mine did an internship as the pastor of a church.  I had the opportunity to hear him preach on two occasions, and at first I thought, am I really going to get anything out of this?  It sounds horrible that I would think that, but I've known this guy for many, many years, so I wasn't sure what to expect.  However, I was pleasantly surprised when I heard on of his sermons.  I can't remember the exact context that this was in, but he talked about the need to clean our inner selves, not just the outside.

In today's world we are so concerned with how we look, how others perceive us, what kind of hard/soft exterior we show others, etc.  but we often forget the introspective part of ourselves.  We all have baggage, some of us more then others, so what do we do with this baggage?  How do we deal with it?  How can we cleanse ourselves?  I'm not purposing to have all the answers about this, nor do I claim to be an expert at ridding the baggage of my own life, however I think I have a few ideas on this.

Inner baggage can cause a huge stress in our lives and effect our relationships with others and God.  If we are not willing to look inside ourselves and see what kind of baggage we are carrying around with us that is going to strongly effect our relationships with others.  We need to look deep inside ourselves and ask ourselves some of those deep, underlying questions that we hate to ask:  What is bothering me?  What am I really like?  Who do I want to be?  How do I do that?

We can not have an effective relationship with others if we don't truly know ourselves, too often people are afraid to look inside themselves and have a real conversation with themselves about what drives them.  If we can not be honest with ourselves, how can we be honest with others?  And if we can't be honest with others why would they want to invest time in establishing a relationship with us?  I realize I am just asking questions instead of providing answers or solutions, however I think that everyone needs to answer these questions for themselves, because I don't have the answers for you.  Everyone knows the answers to these questions if they are to be really honest with themselves, and if you can't think of answers to these questions I have just one more question for you.  Why?

Random Acts of Kindness

Today is Random Acts of Kindness day.  It's pretty crazy that we need a day like this to do random acts of kindness don't you think...however, I think that it's a good way to encourage random acts.  I remember a few years ago I was working at a Starbucks.  It was around Christmas time, and this person came in and loaded a Starbucks gift card with $100.  He then proceeded to give the card to me and said that I was to use this card for everyone after him, until the card was done.  I was floored!  Wow!  And then the man got his coffee and left!  I'll never forget some of the reactions that the following people had. They were so surprised that their lattes and coffees were going to be free!  I think it's a moment that had a huge impact on me, and I think the people that got free coffee's won't forget that experience too soon either!

Today is Random Acts of Kindness day...what are you going to do?

you know it don't you...

Holy crap it's been a month already!  Brutal...my apologies.  Soooo anyways, I want to talk about a quote that I saw recently...I love it, it's superb.  Ready?  Here it is;

"People are usually more convinced by reasons they discover by themselves than by those found by others."

-Blaise Pascal
One of the things I like about this quote is the incredible amount of truth that it brings.  Let's think about this for a minute, what are you most likely to believe?  Someone telling you facts and/or reasons, or finding them out for yourself?  I think everyone will agree that you will be more convinced of something if you find it out for yourself first hand, right?

This is just one of the beautiful things I like about mediation.  When I am mediating a case between people, the two parties are more likely to come to an agreement if they talk to each other and find out things through their conversation rather then me telling them reasons on why they should agree.  This is why a huge part of the mediator is to facilitate the conversation, ask good questions, and uncover interests.

Everyone has problem solving skills, it's a matter of them using them effectively.  Many people don't realize the skills that they do have and it's part of the mediator's job to help that person uncover those skills and to put them in action.  So if your talking to someone about a problem they have with a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, or child, try asking them questions.  They know how to deal with the conflict at hand, they just need the right keys to unlock what they already know.  So before you spout off some advice for someone, ask them what they think they should do!