Drink Milk...

So earlier this week, on Monday and Tuesday, my morning coffee tasted awful! It was completely gross and left my stomach feeling queasy for the rest of the day...I was not impressed because I treasure my morning coffee. So I complained to my wife about the coffee that we had and said that we are never to buy that coffee again! Then on Wednesday I poured myself some milk (I take milk in my coffee) before having my morning coffee and almost threw up it tasted so disgusting. Then my mind started to realize that it wasn't the coffee but it was the milk that was ruining my coffee...the coffee had no "floaties" or anything in it so I assumed that it was the coffee, when rather it was the milk that had infiltrated my taste buds...

So why am I telling this story? Perspective. The way we perceive things can sometimes be radically different the the reality of the situation. We can all learn something from this story because sometimes we need to stand back and look at the situation from another angle. This is especially true when it comes to conflict. Sometimes we can view a conflict from our narrow perspective and not see the bigger picture or the other parties side of the conflict. We can get caught up in our own views and shut everyone else's views out. This is where many conflicts will start, and this is also the solution to that problem many times.

So before you shoot your mouth off to your wife about the quality of the coffee, make sure you have considered what you put in your coffee....

Family Ties

So I went to Ottawa this weekend for my cousin's wedding. I had a lot of fun there visiting family, even though I was only there for roughly 22 hours. I stayed at my uncle and aunt's house and I love being there. They have a nice place in the country and are great hosts with great stories and fun! It was very interesting to talk to my aunt about mediation (she is also interested in it) and to see my cousin's child, who is growing up fast! One thing I noticed on the way home is the way that our stories run as a narrative. What's the best way to catch up with someone? Listen to their stories! The Dykstra clan are (I would say) known for their stories and their story telling abilities...so what do you get when you put a load of Dykstra's together? A load of stories! I love a good story and I love to hear the stories of my families lives.

Two of the things that struck me while I was in Ottawa was people's abilities to catch up so quickly, and secondly the way that people communicate with each other. One of the things that are incredible in relationships are the way people gel together so quickly, even if they haven't seen each other in a long time! In order to start bonding with someone you have not seen in a while it is important to re-establish the trust that was once there. By doing this a few sentences can usually catch you up to speed on the person's life. Apart of that re-establishing the trust is being genuinely interested in how that person has been. That is really something that you can not fake!

Secondly, like I mentioned before the way people communicate with each other. Some people are very factual, and others very abstract. My family is generally long winded :) and can tell stories seemingly forever, and I could sit there forever listening to the stories! I think though that my family (extended as well) relate to each other very well through stories, if you ever sit at a table with them, or a campfire, you are bound to hear hundreds of stories, sometimes the same ones (usually with added things :) ) but there is always new ones. They could tell an interesting story about grocery shopping.... I kid you not!

Anyways, as my story goes longer and longer, the point is to listen to those around you and show them your love and support, don't just sit around them, BE around them, enjoy them, listen to them, but most importantly be yourself around them

A first

So last night I completed my first mediation with Community Justice Initiatives and I must admit I was really nervous beforehand. I pretty much observed for the majority, asking questions when some came to mind, but for the most part was comfortable in the background. I wanted to make sure that I didn't interfere with the process and wasn't quite comfortable enough to voice myself sometimes, mainly because, like I said, it was my first one. I'm not sure who left feeling satisfied more, the group, or myself. It was amazing to see people talk together about some tough issues and be respecful to one another and throw different ideas around and brainstorm together. Another thing that was prevelant was the love that they had for each other and the support that they wanted to give each other. This was an amazing thing to see for me, the encouragement, etc.

I'm excited with the way things went and hope that they continue to work together in the future. I knew that volunteering with CJI was going to be rewarding, but this surpassed my expecations and makes me very excited to do mediation on my own as well. I know that it won't be easy to start doing mediations (on my own) and to drum up business, but I'm excited about the journey that will begin!

Travel around....

I love to travel, I don't do it as much as I would like but I love to travel. I've been to Europe (when I was very young), almost every different state (at least driving through it), all of our western provinces, Panama, Dominican Republic, and pretty much all over Ontario. The thing I like most about travelling is the different people and cultures that you experience. However, when we went to Panama and Dominican Republic I left feeling a little unsatisfied. Why? you might ask. Well, we stayed in a resort for both, and while we rode around the city on a bus and stuff you don't really get to taste the rich culture around you.

One of the next places I would love to go to is Nicaragua, for a few reasons. Reason 1) My cousin and his fiancee have started a hostel, among other things, down in San Juan del Sur Nicaragua, called Hostel Esperanza. They are pretty much right on the beach and if you go to their website it is filled with joyous praise for the hostel. Knowing my cousin a bit, I can just imagine the experience is filled with fun and excitement. Reason 2) I would love to experience the culture of another country, the sights, the smells, the people. It seems like such a rich culture full of excitement waiting to happen. So if your looking for exciting travels take a look at Hostel Esperanza and give my cousin and his fiancee a big hug for me...and tell them I'm coming down one day....