Astonishing Love

So yesterday I finally got my tattoo...finally....it's been a long time coming...what did I get? I got the words "Astonishing Love" written on my right forearm...and I love it... I have another tattoo on my leg, so going into the tattoo parlor I was a bit concerned...tattoo's aren't the most gently things to put on your body...but it was worth it. I was of course worried about the small things as well (which would have really been big if they had gone wrong...), like the spelling of the words...wouldn't that suck...

So why did I get the words Astonishing Love? Well over the past year or so of thinking about what I wanted to get tattooed I began thinking about Christ and my relationship with Him. Through thinking of that I began to realize the love that Christ has for us and I was amazed, even flabbergasted. I've done some stupid things in my life, and despite those, God still loves me...really? YES! I know! I was just as surprised! God loves us unconditionally, which is crazy to even begin thinking about that, and calls us His children, His sheep. So I was going to get the words "Amazing Love" written. After some thought I began to realize that amazing has lost it's power, and doesn't fully describe my thoughts that I have about God's love. So I began searching for similar words to amazing, and lo and behold, Astonishing emerged. Astonishing means, "causing astonishment or surprise; amazing" (Dictionary.com). It was the surprising in the meaning that really caught my attention! It surprises me how often we take God's love for granted, and is equally surprising that despite all our faults that God still loves us....hence the word choice.

I got my tattoo done by an artist named Bry who works at Thrive Studios. Check out their website and Bry's art that he has done, he's really good, and takes a lot of pride in his work....I'll post pictures of my tattoo soon....I guess you could say I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve now! (Yeah...I said it...)

The Great Divorce

The other day I read the book, "The Great Divorce" by C.S. Lewis which depicts the separation of heaven and hell. The book is an easy read, and I read it pretty much in one sitting (it's not that long...) but I was amazed. I haven't really read much Lewis (surprisingly) but I was amazed at the simplicity of his writing, but within that simplicity the deepness (for lack of a better word) of that writing.

The basic plot of the book is some people from hell go on an excursion to heaven, and are given the opportunity to stay if they repent for their past. I don't really believe that God will give us yet another chance after we have died, however it is an interesting concept. Throughout the book the main character overhears various conversations between the angels and the people from hell. Every person from hell can not give up their past/present to come to see the full love of God, and kind of makes the people from hell seem very human. Human in the sense of us, people here on earth, trying to serve God with all that we have, but constantly failing. However, Lewis says in this book if we love God and are prepared to put Him first in our lives then we will fully see His glory when we are in heaven.

This book really reminded me of God's amazing love, which was kind of ironic because this week I am getting my tattoo on my forearm that says "Astonishing Love" and the reason for getting those words is that it is a constant reminder of God's surprising, amazing, spectacular love for us. Every time we think that we are despicable human beings that don't deserve the love of anyone, God always shines through and says to us, "you are mine, and I love you" which I think is pretty awesome....I'll talk more of the tattoo when it is done and I can put up some pictures or something...stay tuned...

Any Questions?

Through some of the courses that I have been taking and much of the reading that I have been doing for mediation, every person has stressed the importance of asking good questions. Essentially, this is the mediators major job; asking the right questions at the right time. By diving into books and courses I've really seen the importance of asking good questions and encouraging active listening, both of myself and others.

I've really come to notice that this practice of active listening and asking quality questions is a waste if I only use it within mediations. This practice can be extremely useful in our everyday lives. For example, I work as a support worker giving support to one individual so one thing I've been trying to do is to ask him good questions that makes him not only feel in control of the outcome, but also empowers him to realize how smart he actually is. This can also be relevant in our personal relationships with friends, family, spouses, etc. By actively listening to others and asking them good questions we are showing better interest in what they are talking about and helping us realize what is important to them and to be able to understand them better.

Leading questions make this process difficult because we will only asks questions that lead them in a certain direction. However, if we ask open questions then the other person feels more in control about where the conversation goes and enables them to control the conversation and explore themselves in a deeper, more meaningful way.

I could go on and on about this subject but I'll leave it at this...People have the capabilities and strengths within them to solve problems, sometimes they just need the right question to be asked of them to see what the answer is to that problem.

what is mediation?

So last post I touched briefly that I am taking courses towards my mediation certificate. So far I have taken one course called Transformative Mediation, which surpassed my expectations with great ease. Transformative in a nutshell focuses on the restoring of relationships to solve the conflict. It's different from other approaches to mediation because most other mediations focus on interests of each of the parties.

Many people that I have talked to over the past few months have asked me...what is mediation? So here is the short version of what mediation is. Mediation is also known as Alternative Dispute Resolution, and is an alternative to the court system. It can be incredibly effective for compromising and solving conflicts because each party that is represented is a part of the overall solution. The mediator pretty much just facilitates the conversation, asks questions for clarification, and encourages the parties to see the conflict from the other party's shoes. It's actually a pretty easy concept, with many complex details... I have fell in love with mediation and what it can do for others and am very excited to get more involved with doing mediations.

A quick over-view of the 3 types of mediations that I'm interested in doing...
1) Family Mediation- This can be anything from a divorce/separation, child custody, parenting plans, an angry teenager/parent conflict, let's put grandpa/grandma in a home conflict, etc. Any problem that you can think of to do with families, but it will mostly be divorce/separation/child custody cases that I will probably start doing
2) Congregational Mediation- Conflicts between congregation and Pastor, Church splits, facilitating discussions within the church, member conflicts, etc. Also, hopefully doing some workshops and stuff at various churches
3)Organizational Mediation- This one is very similar to congregational mediation, but parts can be time vs. money, employee conflicts, organizations vs. organizations, etc.

So anyways, it's going to be cool...and I'm really excited for the journey to begin!

introductions...

Let me formally introduce myself, my name is Jason Dykstra and my wife (Gina) and I live in the Cambridge area. I am currently working as a support worker in the Guelph area with individuals with developmentally delays and mental illness. I work within the Children and Youth section of our organization.
Lately I've become very interested in the world of mediation, so I've decided to take a few courses in order to become a certified mediator. Thus far it has been an extremely pleasant experience. I hope to one day set up my own mediation practice specializing in Family, Congregational, and Organizational Mediation. I'm very excited to do this!
So you might be wondering....why is Jason starting to blog? Well, I've been reading a lot of blogs in the past few months and decided that I should give back to the blogging community and hopefully offer some insights in to this world. Also I think that it is a very helpful tool for family and friends to keep in touch and find out what is happening in my own world. So let people know...that Jason is here!