Why not?

This summer an amazing friend of mine did an internship as the pastor of a church.  I had the opportunity to hear him preach on two occasions, and at first I thought, am I really going to get anything out of this?  It sounds horrible that I would think that, but I've known this guy for many, many years, so I wasn't sure what to expect.  However, I was pleasantly surprised when I heard on of his sermons.  I can't remember the exact context that this was in, but he talked about the need to clean our inner selves, not just the outside.

In today's world we are so concerned with how we look, how others perceive us, what kind of hard/soft exterior we show others, etc.  but we often forget the introspective part of ourselves.  We all have baggage, some of us more then others, so what do we do with this baggage?  How do we deal with it?  How can we cleanse ourselves?  I'm not purposing to have all the answers about this, nor do I claim to be an expert at ridding the baggage of my own life, however I think I have a few ideas on this.

Inner baggage can cause a huge stress in our lives and effect our relationships with others and God.  If we are not willing to look inside ourselves and see what kind of baggage we are carrying around with us that is going to strongly effect our relationships with others.  We need to look deep inside ourselves and ask ourselves some of those deep, underlying questions that we hate to ask:  What is bothering me?  What am I really like?  Who do I want to be?  How do I do that?

We can not have an effective relationship with others if we don't truly know ourselves, too often people are afraid to look inside themselves and have a real conversation with themselves about what drives them.  If we can not be honest with ourselves, how can we be honest with others?  And if we can't be honest with others why would they want to invest time in establishing a relationship with us?  I realize I am just asking questions instead of providing answers or solutions, however I think that everyone needs to answer these questions for themselves, because I don't have the answers for you.  Everyone knows the answers to these questions if they are to be really honest with themselves, and if you can't think of answers to these questions I have just one more question for you.  Why?

Random Acts of Kindness

Today is Random Acts of Kindness day.  It's pretty crazy that we need a day like this to do random acts of kindness don't you think...however, I think that it's a good way to encourage random acts.  I remember a few years ago I was working at a Starbucks.  It was around Christmas time, and this person came in and loaded a Starbucks gift card with $100.  He then proceeded to give the card to me and said that I was to use this card for everyone after him, until the card was done.  I was floored!  Wow!  And then the man got his coffee and left!  I'll never forget some of the reactions that the following people had. They were so surprised that their lattes and coffees were going to be free!  I think it's a moment that had a huge impact on me, and I think the people that got free coffee's won't forget that experience too soon either!

Today is Random Acts of Kindness day...what are you going to do?

you know it don't you...

Holy crap it's been a month already!  Brutal...my apologies.  Soooo anyways, I want to talk about a quote that I saw recently...I love it, it's superb.  Ready?  Here it is;

"People are usually more convinced by reasons they discover by themselves than by those found by others."

-Blaise Pascal
One of the things I like about this quote is the incredible amount of truth that it brings.  Let's think about this for a minute, what are you most likely to believe?  Someone telling you facts and/or reasons, or finding them out for yourself?  I think everyone will agree that you will be more convinced of something if you find it out for yourself first hand, right?

This is just one of the beautiful things I like about mediation.  When I am mediating a case between people, the two parties are more likely to come to an agreement if they talk to each other and find out things through their conversation rather then me telling them reasons on why they should agree.  This is why a huge part of the mediator is to facilitate the conversation, ask good questions, and uncover interests.

Everyone has problem solving skills, it's a matter of them using them effectively.  Many people don't realize the skills that they do have and it's part of the mediator's job to help that person uncover those skills and to put them in action.  So if your talking to someone about a problem they have with a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, or child, try asking them questions.  They know how to deal with the conflict at hand, they just need the right keys to unlock what they already know.  So before you spout off some advice for someone, ask them what they think they should do!