So earlier this week, on Monday and Tuesday, my morning coffee tasted awful! It was completely gross and left my stomach feeling queasy for the rest of the day...I was not impressed because I treasure my morning coffee. So I complained to my wife about the coffee that we had and said that we are never to buy that coffee again! Then on Wednesday I poured myself some milk (I take milk in my coffee) before having my morning coffee and almost threw up it tasted so disgusting. Then my mind started to realize that it wasn't the coffee but it was the milk that was ruining my coffee...the coffee had no "floaties" or anything in it so I assumed that it was the coffee, when rather it was the milk that had infiltrated my taste buds...
So why am I telling this story? Perspective. The way we perceive things can sometimes be radically different the the reality of the situation. We can all learn something from this story because sometimes we need to stand back and look at the situation from another angle. This is especially true when it comes to conflict. Sometimes we can view a conflict from our narrow perspective and not see the bigger picture or the other parties side of the conflict. We can get caught up in our own views and shut everyone else's views out. This is where many conflicts will start, and this is also the solution to that problem many times.
So before you shoot your mouth off to your wife about the quality of the coffee, make sure you have considered what you put in your coffee....
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Family Ties
So I went to Ottawa this weekend for my cousin's wedding. I had a lot of fun there visiting family, even though I was only there for roughly 22 hours. I stayed at my uncle and aunt's house and I love being there. They have a nice place in the country and are great hosts with great stories and fun! It was very interesting to talk to my aunt about mediation (she is also interested in it) and to see my cousin's child, who is growing up fast! One thing I noticed on the way home is the way that our stories run as a narrative. What's the best way to catch up with someone? Listen to their stories! The Dykstra clan are (I would say) known for their stories and their story telling abilities...so what do you get when you put a load of Dykstra's together? A load of stories! I love a good story and I love to hear the stories of my families lives.
Two of the things that struck me while I was in Ottawa was people's abilities to catch up so quickly, and secondly the way that people communicate with each other. One of the things that are incredible in relationships are the way people gel together so quickly, even if they haven't seen each other in a long time! In order to start bonding with someone you have not seen in a while it is important to re-establish the trust that was once there. By doing this a few sentences can usually catch you up to speed on the person's life. Apart of that re-establishing the trust is being genuinely interested in how that person has been. That is really something that you can not fake!
Secondly, like I mentioned before the way people communicate with each other. Some people are very factual, and others very abstract. My family is generally long winded :) and can tell stories seemingly forever, and I could sit there forever listening to the stories! I think though that my family (extended as well) relate to each other very well through stories, if you ever sit at a table with them, or a campfire, you are bound to hear hundreds of stories, sometimes the same ones (usually with added things :) ) but there is always new ones. They could tell an interesting story about grocery shopping.... I kid you not!
Anyways, as my story goes longer and longer, the point is to listen to those around you and show them your love and support, don't just sit around them, BE around them, enjoy them, listen to them, but most importantly be yourself around them
Two of the things that struck me while I was in Ottawa was people's abilities to catch up so quickly, and secondly the way that people communicate with each other. One of the things that are incredible in relationships are the way people gel together so quickly, even if they haven't seen each other in a long time! In order to start bonding with someone you have not seen in a while it is important to re-establish the trust that was once there. By doing this a few sentences can usually catch you up to speed on the person's life. Apart of that re-establishing the trust is being genuinely interested in how that person has been. That is really something that you can not fake!
Secondly, like I mentioned before the way people communicate with each other. Some people are very factual, and others very abstract. My family is generally long winded :) and can tell stories seemingly forever, and I could sit there forever listening to the stories! I think though that my family (extended as well) relate to each other very well through stories, if you ever sit at a table with them, or a campfire, you are bound to hear hundreds of stories, sometimes the same ones (usually with added things :) ) but there is always new ones. They could tell an interesting story about grocery shopping.... I kid you not!
Anyways, as my story goes longer and longer, the point is to listen to those around you and show them your love and support, don't just sit around them, BE around them, enjoy them, listen to them, but most importantly be yourself around them
Friday, May 8, 2009
A first
So last night I completed my first mediation with Community Justice Initiatives and I must admit I was really nervous beforehand. I pretty much observed for the majority, asking questions when some came to mind, but for the most part was comfortable in the background. I wanted to make sure that I didn't interfere with the process and wasn't quite comfortable enough to voice myself sometimes, mainly because, like I said, it was my first one. I'm not sure who left feeling satisfied more, the group, or myself. It was amazing to see people talk together about some tough issues and be respecful to one another and throw different ideas around and brainstorm together. Another thing that was prevelant was the love that they had for each other and the support that they wanted to give each other. This was an amazing thing to see for me, the encouragement, etc.
I'm excited with the way things went and hope that they continue to work together in the future. I knew that volunteering with CJI was going to be rewarding, but this surpassed my expecations and makes me very excited to do mediation on my own as well. I know that it won't be easy to start doing mediations (on my own) and to drum up business, but I'm excited about the journey that will begin!
I'm excited with the way things went and hope that they continue to work together in the future. I knew that volunteering with CJI was going to be rewarding, but this surpassed my expecations and makes me very excited to do mediation on my own as well. I know that it won't be easy to start doing mediations (on my own) and to drum up business, but I'm excited about the journey that will begin!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Travel around....
I love to travel, I don't do it as much as I would like but I love to travel. I've been to Europe (when I was very young), almost every different state (at least driving through it), all of our western provinces, Panama, Dominican Republic, and pretty much all over Ontario. The thing I like most about travelling is the different people and cultures that you experience. However, when we went to Panama and Dominican Republic I left feeling a little unsatisfied. Why? you might ask. Well, we stayed in a resort for both, and while we rode around the city on a bus and stuff you don't really get to taste the rich culture around you.
One of the next places I would love to go to is Nicaragua, for a few reasons. Reason 1) My cousin and his fiancee have started a hostel, among other things, down in San Juan del Sur Nicaragua, called Hostel Esperanza. They are pretty much right on the beach and if you go to their website it is filled with joyous praise for the hostel. Knowing my cousin a bit, I can just imagine the experience is filled with fun and excitement. Reason 2) I would love to experience the culture of another country, the sights, the smells, the people. It seems like such a rich culture full of excitement waiting to happen. So if your looking for exciting travels take a look at Hostel Esperanza and give my cousin and his fiancee a big hug for me...and tell them I'm coming down one day....
One of the next places I would love to go to is Nicaragua, for a few reasons. Reason 1) My cousin and his fiancee have started a hostel, among other things, down in San Juan del Sur Nicaragua, called Hostel Esperanza. They are pretty much right on the beach and if you go to their website it is filled with joyous praise for the hostel. Knowing my cousin a bit, I can just imagine the experience is filled with fun and excitement. Reason 2) I would love to experience the culture of another country, the sights, the smells, the people. It seems like such a rich culture full of excitement waiting to happen. So if your looking for exciting travels take a look at Hostel Esperanza and give my cousin and his fiancee a big hug for me...and tell them I'm coming down one day....
Monday, April 27, 2009
Traditionally washed...
This weekend I watched the movie "PleasantVille," it's been a while since I've last seen it! It was definitely better then I remembered it...not that it's superb or anything...but it was alright. Throughout the movie I couldn't stop thinking about how much people hate change, especially when it comes to their traditions. Now, I realize that pretty much everyone hates and loves change (myself included)...but what do I mean by that? Well...change that is brought on by ourselves we like, because we are in control of it. However, changes that just happen to us (death of a love one, getting fired, getting sick, etc.) we hate, I think, because we have no control over the matter.
Enter tradition...traditions can often become our "religion." Traditions can often blind us of the truth and we can become so focused on the tradition itself that we lose sight of why we do that tradition to begin with. Now, I'm not saying that traditions are bad or not enjoyable, I certainly do love different traditions, however I think we are to be wary of them. The most prevalent example that I can think of occurs within churches. I have often found (from talking to various people) that congregations can be at risk when they start taking traditions too seriously. For example, why do we have to go to church twice on a Sunday. Now I know of some churches that it is strongly frowned upon to NOT go to church twice on a Sunday. However, when you talk to some of the various members that go to a church like that and you ask them why they go to church twice on Sunday, usually their response is, "It's just what we've always done!" Now, I'm not saying that there is anything that is wrong with going to church twice on Sundays, and if that's what your getting from this your completely missing the point. But I think that if we lose sight as to why we do various traditions within our church, and start "worshipping" that tradition then we, as a church are on the wrong path.
I used to play for a church band in university and we would sometimes go to other churches to lead worship. I remember in one church that we were playing at we ended the service with a slower song that really emphasized the sermon, and was a contemplative song for people to leave the service with. However, after the service a women came up to some members of our band and said that we should have ended the service with an upbeat song because that's what they always did. I really felt like saying, "really? That's what you got from that? {Enter explicit here}" Instead of focusing on the words of the song and how it related to the teaching she could only hear the tempo of the song, and through that decided that it was a poor song choice. Brutal..
Anyways...that's enough rants for today...have you stumbled across this sort of thing? Or is it just me??
Enter tradition...traditions can often become our "religion." Traditions can often blind us of the truth and we can become so focused on the tradition itself that we lose sight of why we do that tradition to begin with. Now, I'm not saying that traditions are bad or not enjoyable, I certainly do love different traditions, however I think we are to be wary of them. The most prevalent example that I can think of occurs within churches. I have often found (from talking to various people) that congregations can be at risk when they start taking traditions too seriously. For example, why do we have to go to church twice on a Sunday. Now I know of some churches that it is strongly frowned upon to NOT go to church twice on a Sunday. However, when you talk to some of the various members that go to a church like that and you ask them why they go to church twice on Sunday, usually their response is, "It's just what we've always done!" Now, I'm not saying that there is anything that is wrong with going to church twice on Sundays, and if that's what your getting from this your completely missing the point. But I think that if we lose sight as to why we do various traditions within our church, and start "worshipping" that tradition then we, as a church are on the wrong path.
I used to play for a church band in university and we would sometimes go to other churches to lead worship. I remember in one church that we were playing at we ended the service with a slower song that really emphasized the sermon, and was a contemplative song for people to leave the service with. However, after the service a women came up to some members of our band and said that we should have ended the service with an upbeat song because that's what they always did. I really felt like saying, "really? That's what you got from that? {Enter explicit here}" Instead of focusing on the words of the song and how it related to the teaching she could only hear the tempo of the song, and through that decided that it was a poor song choice. Brutal..
Anyways...that's enough rants for today...have you stumbled across this sort of thing? Or is it just me??
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Preston Manning and breakfast
So this morning I woke up really early and went to "The Third Annual Burlington Leadership Prayer Breakfast." A few things struck me as I sat in the massive Burlington Convention Center; 1) Holy Crap there is a lot of people here! 2) There were some very big names politically, Preston Manning! 3) How amazing is it that the Christian community of Burlington gets together to pray for the leaders of Burlington. The breakfast was great and the company even better, it was really nice to see some familiar faces from my old church!
The main speaker at this event was a past conservative leader Preston Manning. While he was being introduced I couldn't help but think, wow, this guy has seen it all. His talk was some advice on spiritual remedies to our economic turbulence. He had four main things that could aid us during these times; Knowledge, Decide, Prayer, Act.
Knowledge: We need to make sure that we are educated in our surroundings and that we know the Bible, as it can help us face some of these economic problems that we are facing.
Decide: We, as leaders, need to make Decisions. It is better to make a decision then to be undeceive and leave our fate to others.
Prayer: We need to pray for our leaders in the community and politically that they make good decisions and that they can see God's hand at work.
Act: Talk is cheap...we need to show what it is that we, as Christians, talk about by leading by example.
Afterwards I had a quick conversation with an old friend/colleague/mentor and he said that it was interesting that in our Canadian society there are many political leaders that have a Christian upbringing, but do not have the freedom/ability to express their beliefs. It was also said that the States are a bit different that way, there are signs with Bible verses and underneath them some business is advertising...it's amazing how different our cultures can be!
To sum it up, I had a great time at this breakfast, Preston Manning was a great speaker, he spoke with humour, zest, clarity, and compassion. He was entertaining and educational, and really made me realize the importance of leading spiritual lives and showing others that we are Christians by our actions, not always just our words. Like I said earlier, words are cheap, it's easy to spit out sentences of beliefs but it is quite another thing to live each day for Christ. I believe that we are all called to live each day for Him, and to be a light into our communities.
The main speaker at this event was a past conservative leader Preston Manning. While he was being introduced I couldn't help but think, wow, this guy has seen it all. His talk was some advice on spiritual remedies to our economic turbulence. He had four main things that could aid us during these times; Knowledge, Decide, Prayer, Act.
Knowledge: We need to make sure that we are educated in our surroundings and that we know the Bible, as it can help us face some of these economic problems that we are facing.
Decide: We, as leaders, need to make Decisions. It is better to make a decision then to be undeceive and leave our fate to others.
Prayer: We need to pray for our leaders in the community and politically that they make good decisions and that they can see God's hand at work.
Act: Talk is cheap...we need to show what it is that we, as Christians, talk about by leading by example.
Afterwards I had a quick conversation with an old friend/colleague/mentor and he said that it was interesting that in our Canadian society there are many political leaders that have a Christian upbringing, but do not have the freedom/ability to express their beliefs. It was also said that the States are a bit different that way, there are signs with Bible verses and underneath them some business is advertising...it's amazing how different our cultures can be!
To sum it up, I had a great time at this breakfast, Preston Manning was a great speaker, he spoke with humour, zest, clarity, and compassion. He was entertaining and educational, and really made me realize the importance of leading spiritual lives and showing others that we are Christians by our actions, not always just our words. Like I said earlier, words are cheap, it's easy to spit out sentences of beliefs but it is quite another thing to live each day for Christ. I believe that we are all called to live each day for Him, and to be a light into our communities.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Who did you say you are?
So the other day I spent about 6-7 hours pretty much straight hanging out in Starbucks. In that time I met with 5 different friends (not all at once...). One of those friends I haven't seen in probably 2 years...crazy how time flies! I digress...I thought it was great to see people and sit and talk with them, all so different with so many different qualities and life experiences. I remember a conversation from years ago that really impacted my views on "friends." The gist of the conversation was that there are three types of relationships that you build in your life; Family, Friends, and Acquaintances.
Family: Family would include your immediate family (maybe some of your extended as well) as well as your close friends. Pretty much anyone that you are really close with and love as if they were your family. The kind of people you would extend a hand in any situation to help them.
Friends: Friends are those people that you would normally call friends or acquaintances but aren't really that close too. You probably have a surface level "friendship" with them, that could include people you have known for years, co-workers, etc. These people you probably have known for a while, but you could do without them (even though they are fun to be around!)
Acquaintances: These would be your connections and such. Your lawyer, real estate agent (pick Mark Nyman!!), bartender, whoever. These are people that you maybe went to high school with years ago, you know what I'm getting at.
While at Starbucks we talked about the various things in life, and one thing my friend said time and time again, "you just have to be who you are" (maybe not a direct quote...). Such a simple statement but yet there is so much truth to it. How many people do you know that are one way around certain people, and then a completely different person around others. I know a few of them and they really confuse/piss me off! Why? Because they are not being true to who they are and what they are all about. I can understand a bit if your going through puberty and trying to figure yourself out...but really...come on...who are you trying to fool?
Anyways, that quote really just made me excited about genuine people, and how much that I love talking to genuine people that are not afraid to be themselves. Well....I've rambled enough today....peace....and enjoy our God's life today....happy Easter!
Family: Family would include your immediate family (maybe some of your extended as well) as well as your close friends. Pretty much anyone that you are really close with and love as if they were your family. The kind of people you would extend a hand in any situation to help them.
Friends: Friends are those people that you would normally call friends or acquaintances but aren't really that close too. You probably have a surface level "friendship" with them, that could include people you have known for years, co-workers, etc. These people you probably have known for a while, but you could do without them (even though they are fun to be around!)
Acquaintances: These would be your connections and such. Your lawyer, real estate agent (pick Mark Nyman!!), bartender, whoever. These are people that you maybe went to high school with years ago, you know what I'm getting at.
While at Starbucks we talked about the various things in life, and one thing my friend said time and time again, "you just have to be who you are" (maybe not a direct quote...). Such a simple statement but yet there is so much truth to it. How many people do you know that are one way around certain people, and then a completely different person around others. I know a few of them and they really confuse/piss me off! Why? Because they are not being true to who they are and what they are all about. I can understand a bit if your going through puberty and trying to figure yourself out...but really...come on...who are you trying to fool?
Anyways, that quote really just made me excited about genuine people, and how much that I love talking to genuine people that are not afraid to be themselves. Well....I've rambled enough today....peace....and enjoy our God's life today....happy Easter!
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