you know it don't you...

Holy crap it's been a month already!  Brutal...my apologies.  Soooo anyways, I want to talk about a quote that I saw recently...I love it, it's superb.  Ready?  Here it is;

"People are usually more convinced by reasons they discover by themselves than by those found by others."

-Blaise Pascal
One of the things I like about this quote is the incredible amount of truth that it brings.  Let's think about this for a minute, what are you most likely to believe?  Someone telling you facts and/or reasons, or finding them out for yourself?  I think everyone will agree that you will be more convinced of something if you find it out for yourself first hand, right?

This is just one of the beautiful things I like about mediation.  When I am mediating a case between people, the two parties are more likely to come to an agreement if they talk to each other and find out things through their conversation rather then me telling them reasons on why they should agree.  This is why a huge part of the mediator is to facilitate the conversation, ask good questions, and uncover interests.

Everyone has problem solving skills, it's a matter of them using them effectively.  Many people don't realize the skills that they do have and it's part of the mediator's job to help that person uncover those skills and to put them in action.  So if your talking to someone about a problem they have with a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, or child, try asking them questions.  They know how to deal with the conflict at hand, they just need the right keys to unlock what they already know.  So before you spout off some advice for someone, ask them what they think they should do!