So here I am, in the little tri-city area, which I thought was pretty big, but in mediation terms is quite small. I have had many conversations with mediators in the past 6 months, and read many different forums/conversations on Linkedin and have been told how difficult it is to sustain a career in mediation. I have been well informed that those who teach mediation classes are not fully telling their students how difficult it is to make a living and that there are few who are able to make a killing off of it but the rest struggle. Not surprisingly, this doesn't really phase me. I feel well informed at the risks, I feel well informed that it will be a difficult path, I feel well informed that I'm going to have to work my ass off to get anywhere in this world of mediation. But guess what...it would be the same with any business that I decide to go for!
One thing that I have come to realize is the lack of awareness that there is about mediation in the area I reside. There is a lack of awareness of the benefits of the mediation process, the financial benefits of mediation, and a general lack of knowledge of restorative justice/mending relationships. So what do I do? I have read everything out there...there are some amazing people that take a lot of time out of their days to help others...Tammy Lenski, Diane Levin , Amanda Bucklow, Jeff Thompson, Cinnie Noble (Just to name a few) who have helped me really sit down and think about the ins and outs of mediation and what it means to be a not just a good mediator, but a great mediator. I can honestly say I owe them a quite a bit for the wisdom that comes through their fingers and voices
Anyways, all this to say...I have a ton of work to do in my area! I'm going to have to get out and talk to groups, write articles, shout mediation from the rooftops to get anywhere in this field...it is extremely overwhelming and extremely exciting and I look forward to the challenges ahead! Stay tuned for more!
mediation awareness
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Thursday, December 31, 2009
The Holidays
Having worked in the social service field for a little while now I am always reminded of the pain and suffering that people are going through during this joyous time. It's the Christmas season (even though it's technically over now...) and the start of a new year. It's a time to celebrate the birth of Christ and get together with family members and friends that we haven't seen for a while. However, not everyone has family and friends to greet and embrace, not everyone has a relationship with their families, and others yet have high conflict families that cause great pain and suffering throughout the holiday.
I was reading in the paper this week about exchange students (particularly college students) that have nowhere to go during the Christmas season, their families are all oversees, their friends are busy with their families, their customs and traditions aren't even possible here for whatever reason. However, that's not what the article was about...the article was about people (friends, professors, etc) taking these people and bringing them home to their families to enjoy the festivities with their families! I thought this was pretty awesome for people to be doing. While the exchange student may not be able to celebrate the holidays with their usual customs and traditions, they were all very grateful that they did not have to spend the holidays on their own. To me, this reminds me that there are still gracious people left out there. That joyous holidays don't have to be lonely for many people.
So even though Christmas is done, and you already have New Years plans, if you know of someone who is going to be lonely during the remainder of the season, invite them to your house, celebrate with them, enjoy their company. Too often we get stuck in our own lives to remember about those that are around us...especially during the holidays.
Thank you to everyone that has made this a great year! May God bless you in the year to come!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
A New Year...A New Job...A New Life?
Well, well, well...there has been a lot going on! So as of this week I will no longer be employed by Christian Horizons...I know...I've been here for roughly 3 1/2 years...quite some time...but it will no longer (come 2010) be my main source of employment. It brings on many different emotions, to be honest. I'm extremely excited that I'm continuing on with my life, and branching out into something that I am very passionate about, but also quite sad. I've worked in 5 different homes within Christian Horizons, giving me quite a well rounded experience of what Christian Horizons has to offer, and I must admit I have throughly enjoyed my stay. The most previous house that I am leaving (in Guelph) has by far had the best team/boss that I've had the pleasure of working with. It is very sad to be leaving this team because they have been amazing in this home, and I am astounded at the amount of talent that we have been able to acquire in this home. Christian Horizons has been blessed by this team and I know that they will all go on to do amazing things with their lives, in or outside of Christian Horizons.
However, I have accepted a position of Program/Volunteer Manager at a grassroots organization named ROOF (Reaching Our Outdoor Friends). There I will be helping manage a team of talented people (paid and unpaid) who are reaching out to homeless youth in Kitchener. Not only does it give me great privilege to be offered the job it is where part of my passion is. I say part because I have three main passions (in this order): Serving others, mediation, and youth. I don't know incredible details yet of the staff/volunteers yet, but I'm looking forward to the challenge and putting my knowledge and skills to good use. I am extremely thankful to my (now former) boss because I feel equipped and ready for this challenge. It's always encouraging to know that people are there growing new leaders and developing their talents and gifts. I can only hope that I do half as good of a job as he's done.
So what does this mean for my mediation business Absolution Mediation? Nothing changes! Things are still going ahead as planned, and I hope to start advertising soon. I have some internships that I need to nail down yet...three more courses...and BAMN! Ready to role! One of the things that I am going to be incorporating into my business is conflict/relationship coaching. I'm very excited about this, and have been doing tons, and tons of reading about it. The more I learn about mediation and coaching the more I've been realizing that I've been doing this my whole life! Another exciting thing about my new position is the active role that I will be taking in coaching staff. I'm very excited to be able to have this opportunity and extremely nervous as well. Wish me luck!!
However, I have accepted a position of Program/Volunteer Manager at a grassroots organization named ROOF (Reaching Our Outdoor Friends). There I will be helping manage a team of talented people (paid and unpaid) who are reaching out to homeless youth in Kitchener. Not only does it give me great privilege to be offered the job it is where part of my passion is. I say part because I have three main passions (in this order): Serving others, mediation, and youth. I don't know incredible details yet of the staff/volunteers yet, but I'm looking forward to the challenge and putting my knowledge and skills to good use. I am extremely thankful to my (now former) boss because I feel equipped and ready for this challenge. It's always encouraging to know that people are there growing new leaders and developing their talents and gifts. I can only hope that I do half as good of a job as he's done.
So what does this mean for my mediation business Absolution Mediation? Nothing changes! Things are still going ahead as planned, and I hope to start advertising soon. I have some internships that I need to nail down yet...three more courses...and BAMN! Ready to role! One of the things that I am going to be incorporating into my business is conflict/relationship coaching. I'm very excited about this, and have been doing tons, and tons of reading about it. The more I learn about mediation and coaching the more I've been realizing that I've been doing this my whole life! Another exciting thing about my new position is the active role that I will be taking in coaching staff. I'm very excited to be able to have this opportunity and extremely nervous as well. Wish me luck!!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Why not?
This summer an amazing friend of mine did an internship as the pastor of a church. I had the opportunity to hear him preach on two occasions, and at first I thought, am I really going to get anything out of this? It sounds horrible that I would think that, but I've known this guy for many, many years, so I wasn't sure what to expect. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I heard on of his sermons. I can't remember the exact context that this was in, but he talked about the need to clean our inner selves, not just the outside.
In today's world we are so concerned with how we look, how others perceive us, what kind of hard/soft exterior we show others, etc. but we often forget the introspective part of ourselves. We all have baggage, some of us more then others, so what do we do with this baggage? How do we deal with it? How can we cleanse ourselves? I'm not purposing to have all the answers about this, nor do I claim to be an expert at ridding the baggage of my own life, however I think I have a few ideas on this.
Inner baggage can cause a huge stress in our lives and effect our relationships with others and God. If we are not willing to look inside ourselves and see what kind of baggage we are carrying around with us that is going to strongly effect our relationships with others. We need to look deep inside ourselves and ask ourselves some of those deep, underlying questions that we hate to ask: What is bothering me? What am I really like? Who do I want to be? How do I do that?
We can not have an effective relationship with others if we don't truly know ourselves, too often people are afraid to look inside themselves and have a real conversation with themselves about what drives them. If we can not be honest with ourselves, how can we be honest with others? And if we can't be honest with others why would they want to invest time in establishing a relationship with us? I realize I am just asking questions instead of providing answers or solutions, however I think that everyone needs to answer these questions for themselves, because I don't have the answers for you. Everyone knows the answers to these questions if they are to be really honest with themselves, and if you can't think of answers to these questions I have just one more question for you. Why?
In today's world we are so concerned with how we look, how others perceive us, what kind of hard/soft exterior we show others, etc. but we often forget the introspective part of ourselves. We all have baggage, some of us more then others, so what do we do with this baggage? How do we deal with it? How can we cleanse ourselves? I'm not purposing to have all the answers about this, nor do I claim to be an expert at ridding the baggage of my own life, however I think I have a few ideas on this.
Inner baggage can cause a huge stress in our lives and effect our relationships with others and God. If we are not willing to look inside ourselves and see what kind of baggage we are carrying around with us that is going to strongly effect our relationships with others. We need to look deep inside ourselves and ask ourselves some of those deep, underlying questions that we hate to ask: What is bothering me? What am I really like? Who do I want to be? How do I do that?
We can not have an effective relationship with others if we don't truly know ourselves, too often people are afraid to look inside themselves and have a real conversation with themselves about what drives them. If we can not be honest with ourselves, how can we be honest with others? And if we can't be honest with others why would they want to invest time in establishing a relationship with us? I realize I am just asking questions instead of providing answers or solutions, however I think that everyone needs to answer these questions for themselves, because I don't have the answers for you. Everyone knows the answers to these questions if they are to be really honest with themselves, and if you can't think of answers to these questions I have just one more question for you. Why?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Random Acts of Kindness
Today is Random Acts of Kindness day. It's pretty crazy that we need a day like this to do random acts of kindness don't you think...however, I think that it's a good way to encourage random acts. I remember a few years ago I was working at a Starbucks. It was around Christmas time, and this person came in and loaded a Starbucks gift card with $100. He then proceeded to give the card to me and said that I was to use this card for everyone after him, until the card was done. I was floored! Wow! And then the man got his coffee and left! I'll never forget some of the reactions that the following people had. They were so surprised that their lattes and coffees were going to be free! I think it's a moment that had a huge impact on me, and I think the people that got free coffee's won't forget that experience too soon either!
Today is Random Acts of Kindness day...what are you going to do?
Today is Random Acts of Kindness day...what are you going to do?
Thursday, November 12, 2009
you know it don't you...
Holy crap it's been a month already! Brutal...my apologies. Soooo anyways, I want to talk about a quote that I saw recently...I love it, it's superb. Ready? Here it is;
One of the things I like about this quote is the incredible amount of truth that it brings. Let's think about this for a minute, what are you most likely to believe? Someone telling you facts and/or reasons, or finding them out for yourself? I think everyone will agree that you will be more convinced of something if you find it out for yourself first hand, right?
This is just one of the beautiful things I like about mediation. When I am mediating a case between people, the two parties are more likely to come to an agreement if they talk to each other and find out things through their conversation rather then me telling them reasons on why they should agree. This is why a huge part of the mediator is to facilitate the conversation, ask good questions, and uncover interests.
Everyone has problem solving skills, it's a matter of them using them effectively. Many people don't realize the skills that they do have and it's part of the mediator's job to help that person uncover those skills and to put them in action. So if your talking to someone about a problem they have with a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, or child, try asking them questions. They know how to deal with the conflict at hand, they just need the right keys to unlock what they already know. So before you spout off some advice for someone, ask them what they think they should do!
"People are usually more convinced by reasons they discover by themselves than by those found by others."-Blaise Pascal
One of the things I like about this quote is the incredible amount of truth that it brings. Let's think about this for a minute, what are you most likely to believe? Someone telling you facts and/or reasons, or finding them out for yourself? I think everyone will agree that you will be more convinced of something if you find it out for yourself first hand, right?
This is just one of the beautiful things I like about mediation. When I am mediating a case between people, the two parties are more likely to come to an agreement if they talk to each other and find out things through their conversation rather then me telling them reasons on why they should agree. This is why a huge part of the mediator is to facilitate the conversation, ask good questions, and uncover interests.
Everyone has problem solving skills, it's a matter of them using them effectively. Many people don't realize the skills that they do have and it's part of the mediator's job to help that person uncover those skills and to put them in action. So if your talking to someone about a problem they have with a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, or child, try asking them questions. They know how to deal with the conflict at hand, they just need the right keys to unlock what they already know. So before you spout off some advice for someone, ask them what they think they should do!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Get some Passion
Ok, so the last few days I've watched this video with Gary Vaynerchuck. I had never heard of him before...but he blew me away! The video is about 15 minutes, but once you start watching you can't stop! He talks about two things in this video, Patience and Passion. This is one extremely passionate man! He goes on to say that if you are 1% unhappy, it's time to get out and do something you are passionate about. Even if that something makes less money, if you are going to be happier then it's worth it to get out.
This concept of happiness while at work has always been something big for me. I've talked to lots of people that hate their jobs, and simply bitch about them nonstop. I have always said to them, if your not happy with what you are doing, find something else! Find what your passion is and go for it! Another thing Gary addresses is a question from someone who asks, "What about getting enough money to do something?" Gary just kind of laughs and tells the guy that even if your working 9 to 5, you come home spend some time with the family, kiss the dog, and work from 7pm-2am. Doesn't this make sense? If you are passionate about something wouldn't you just work on it all the time? Put effort into it? Have a drive to succeed in it? That's what I think.
Another thing that I thought of while I watched this video was that we need more Christians like this. When did we lose our passion for Christ? Now we wuss around the topic of God and religion, we sidestep those conversations, we say do whatever you want! I know where I'm going! When did we become such wimps? And if your thinking right now, "I can't believe he's saying this about Christians!" Then get your head out of the sand and look around you. I'm not proud to say, but I do it sometimes, and I'll admit sometimes I need to get some balls and address some of these things head on. But there are many people that do this, and it shows a lack of passion, a lack of love, a lack of trust in God. We lack a holy rage to being outspoken towards God. Think about it. And while your thinking, read this qoute by a dude named Kaj Munk...oh and watch the video!
"What is, therefore, the task of the preacher (or the church) today? Shall I answer: "Faith, hope and love?" That sounds beautiful. But I would say - Courage. No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature, we lack a holy rage."
-Kaj Munk
This concept of happiness while at work has always been something big for me. I've talked to lots of people that hate their jobs, and simply bitch about them nonstop. I have always said to them, if your not happy with what you are doing, find something else! Find what your passion is and go for it! Another thing Gary addresses is a question from someone who asks, "What about getting enough money to do something?" Gary just kind of laughs and tells the guy that even if your working 9 to 5, you come home spend some time with the family, kiss the dog, and work from 7pm-2am. Doesn't this make sense? If you are passionate about something wouldn't you just work on it all the time? Put effort into it? Have a drive to succeed in it? That's what I think.
Another thing that I thought of while I watched this video was that we need more Christians like this. When did we lose our passion for Christ? Now we wuss around the topic of God and religion, we sidestep those conversations, we say do whatever you want! I know where I'm going! When did we become such wimps? And if your thinking right now, "I can't believe he's saying this about Christians!" Then get your head out of the sand and look around you. I'm not proud to say, but I do it sometimes, and I'll admit sometimes I need to get some balls and address some of these things head on. But there are many people that do this, and it shows a lack of passion, a lack of love, a lack of trust in God. We lack a holy rage to being outspoken towards God. Think about it. And while your thinking, read this qoute by a dude named Kaj Munk...oh and watch the video!
"What is, therefore, the task of the preacher (or the church) today? Shall I answer: "Faith, hope and love?" That sounds beautiful. But I would say - Courage. No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth. Our task today is recklessness. For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature, we lack a holy rage."
-Kaj Munk
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